Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2006 March
2005 August
2005 June
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| Middle of Everything |
| 06.23.04 (2:46 pm) [edit] |
Which way do I go, I am all alone, the shadows whispering lies of idiocrisy.
Confusion, Delusions, renderings of a temporary eternity seems my destiny.
A car crash, a bag of trash, backroad ramblings of homicidal tendancies.
A bleeding touch, bleeds not too much, loosing the grasp on what's called sanity.
Philosophy, an exaggerated idea, in the exaggerated mind of a species.
An unknown parasite sucking the life of something that's already diseased..
Footsteps, handprints, a blood stained grass patch, my safely hid memories.
Here nor there everywhere and nowhere, the master of invisibility.
A henchmans noose, children of mother goose, missing parts of a fantasy.
The King has his Queen the Queen has her frog, the Dragon still must feast.
A Vampires Bite, a Werewolves night, come together and worship the beast.
|
|
|
| |
| Death from the Dead |
| 06.17.04 (11:36 pm) [edit] |
A tap on my door, I turn in my bed,
Cold shadows in the land of the dead.
Whispers of voices inside my head,
I am not me but he and we instead.
Footsteps in my parlor, a creaking door,
Death with it's innocent stalking odor.
Thousands of souls reaching up from the floor,
I somehow find I'm still needing more.
Ivy covered stone, a forgotten rock,
Nothing more than a good thick hard cock.
Momories of sadistic cries that I mocked,
Suprising to see that in fact was a shock.
A freshly dug grave, in a not so safe place,
A demon's wings with an angelic face.
Scents of his love that once filled this space,
So strong yet impossible to trace.
Sing this song, with it's unholy tune,
By the light of the stars, the newly made moon.
Dance this dark dance, sway and swoon,
And hope that Forever finds you soon.
Blood on my hands, blood on my lips,
A hunger, a thirst, a grinding of hips.
Not in a gulp but in tiny sips,
The warrior his arsonal fully equipped.
The devil on horses, a ride in the sky,
One last request before you shall die.
A whimper, a struggle, happy you cried,
Last visions of a hurtfilled begging eye.
|
|
|
| |
| I killed myself last night |
| 06.15.04 (7:17 am) [edit] |
I killed myself last night.
That part which was most precious to me,
I tore it out and watched it bleed.
Then stole away to darkness.
Dreams haunted me after my self infliction.
I saw him, his eyes peircing through me,
My heart ached and my breath was taken away.
Running away from me when I needed him,
Yet I know that it is I that have fleed.
I woke this morning with an aching like no other.
I felt that part of me missing.
Sickening churning in my soul, I fight the urge to puke.
Guilt...
It tortures me today...
Following me, sticking me, reminding me that I hurt him.
Saddness,,,
I have felt it coming on stronger recently and now here the storm is here full force... yet I put myself there?
Why???
Because I don't want to hurt him..
Why should he suffer with me?
He deserves happiness, success, and love.
What am I?
The sky is covered with a grey veil this morning,
So very suiting to my mood..
Normally a calming to my mind and heart,
But today it is just a reminder of the gloom that hovers over me.
I feel cursed...
I would wish to seek out the witch who cast this curse on me, bleed her wicked heart, then drink that I may be so as she so as to not hurt anymore.
What is wrong with me?
That I would throw away happiness just to save happiness..
Maddness...
I feel it.. creeping slowly into my mind, reaking havock on my thoughts, poisoning my judgement, taking control of me...
Knowing the bad is moving to worse.. why would I put him here?
I do not deserve it... I am nothing...
I do not pity myself.. I hate myself.. the one I used to love lay within my heart, I grew to know her, to understand her, to love her,, myself..
And now such anger and despise I feel toward her...
Last night I wished to die..
To close my eyes and never wake from my sleep...
The thought of my life, and growing old, of knowing what my fate is... I wanted so much just to die...
I feel a curse but know that I have just cursed myself...
Loss,, I felt as if someone had died when I woke..
I felt as if I had died also..
I wish I had...
|
|
|
| |
| Sshhhhh |
| 06.12.04 (9:43 pm) [edit] |
Dark of night your eyes are piercing me,
My heart pounds so loud from fear I can hear it's beat.
Ssshhhh,,,
Silence, I pray you will not move and leave me alone for the rest of this night.
Marching footsteps of a thousand men,
A warriors chant echoes through the mountain side.
The heavy breath of nights solitude sends a shiver across my spine.
Knowing only moments until the firey torment of the daylight consumes my enitity.
I dare not close my eyes in fear I will sleep,
Yet my dreams beckon me to find peace.
The Wizard calls for me to rest,
But even the serentity of a witches song can not settle the unrest that stirs in my heart tonight.
I see her blade shining in the moonlight,
Seeking it's blood to be fullfilled.
My eyes close and for one moment and I am transported back to the familiarality of the castle.
The scents of candles and rock, a musty comfort fills me.
I forget this horrible place and remember the carved wooden furniture in my room.
The smell of maple.. the feel of stone beneath my feet...
Did I ever leave?
A crystal ball.. a pearl misty blue, transparent almost, sitting in the corner.
His face almost as transparent staring at me from the shadows, blending into the darkness.
Where did she go?
What of my fortune telling gypsy whom comforts this havock I seemingly fix myself upon?
Has she abandoned me as well?
Cool damp grass beneath me feet, my room just another memory.
The Witch's circle fades away from me and I am lost to them.
Daybreak,,,
I see it over the horizon making it's pink and orange announcements.
If I run fast enough perhaps I may escape it for a time.
Sshhhh,,,
Quietly move between fear driven breaths that fill the air so recognizably.
All seems impossible to me in this instance.
I feel lost.
Lost from safety of the Witch's Circle,
From the protection of the Wizards hat,
From the knowledge of the crystal ball,
From the comfort of the Gypsy's Fortune,
Lost from the Immortal kiss of his lips which has forgotten me.
Forgotten...
What a heart wrenching recognition...
Sshhhh,,,
They are coming,,,
Your stare doesn't falter, nor does your expression slighten..
What is it you are thinking of?
Here in darkness, with dawn's determined acknowledment,,,
What is you see that breaks not your gaze?
Do you not see the fate we have encountered this night?
All that is in me is fear,
Yet you sit unaffected, unmoved by the despair of our situation.
Sshhhhh,,
Did you hear it?
|
|
|
| |
| To the Ones I Trust |
| 06.10.04 (8:39 pm) [edit] |
Dear Love, I know in my heart that even though that woman was on top of you in the bed that you did absolutely nothing wrong and it wasn't your fault. I know you are true to me no matter how much you cum in her.
My Eternal, I know in my heart that even though you lied to me after promising me for the blue millionth time that you wouldn't, that you will never do it again.
My Forever Immortal, I know in my heart that even though you deny me our lovemaking even between crying and begging, then jerk off to porn and I recieve a call from some stranger telling me she sleeping with you, that I am in fact the only woman for you.
My One True Love, I believe in my heart that your intentions toward that girl no matter how much she says otherwise nor how much you lied to me in order to be near her, were indeed pure friendship and compassion, and in no way were you looking for anything outside of me.
Soulmate, I know in my heart that those drugs I found in the house were in no way yours, even though they were hidden so that I wouldn't find them, and your friends and co workes say you were fussing because I found them and you had to buy more.
Heart of my Heart, I know in my heart that you respect and honor me no matter how much you refer to me as a stupid bitch to your friends once you are away from me.
My Piece of the Puzzle, I know in my heart that you are there for me in every way, financially, physically, sexually sometimes, even though you offer me no emotional or spiritual support I understand that I can only ask so much.
For My One and Only, I know in my heart that you have only eyes for me no matter how much you feel the need to go to the strip club then put me down for my weight and imperfections, I understand that I am all that you will ever need.
My Undying Precious, I know in my heart that you love only me and seek no other, even though you still keep in contact with someone you have feelings for and let her know how important she is to you. And even though you deny her sexuallities but offer much emotional and intimate parts of yourself that you see that I am the only one for you. I understand that you have feelings for others even though I am supposed to be your heart and soul. And that as long as it's not sexual it's not cheating, right?
Trust is a funny thing...
You must believe in the person whom loves you and you love in order for it to work properly. If you don't trust your partner and know that they are not hiding anything from you then how can you have a successful relationship?
|
|
|
| |
|
|
